How to Take a Compliment
posted December 26, 2007 by jordan
Here is a great article on how to handle it when Sally Sue walks up to the foyer and says,
“Great job on the _______________.” I used to give the awkward dodge or borderline cheesy “I’m glad God used it to bless you.” As a result of much thinking and this article, now I simply say, “Thanks.” And that is from someone very uneasy about small talk or taking a compliment. I think my internal wiring and super analytic personality has already assessed “good work on _________” or “wow, that could have been done better and this is how” long before someone has the chance to give a compliment. I have learned/am learning the importance of letting them give a compliment and me receiving it.
Wondering what in the article you agree with and disagree with? I have some disagreements, but I shan’t color the conversation until a few of you weigh in. Comment away.
December 26th, 2007 at 7:35 pm
I always say either, “Thanks!” or “Praise God!”
Nate
December 27th, 2007 at 7:57 am
Interesting article. Liked how they broke down the “what to stop/start doing” points. I have never thought much about this before, however our own self image does have a lot to do with how we receive compliments. More interesting is how our response sets an image of us in the minds of others that could be totally incorrect. Our “knee jerk” reaction of awkward humbleness can definatly be perceived as being an SOB in someone elses mind.
I’m glad the last point was about being gracious. In my professional field I loved doing, and poured my heart into my clients annual reviews. If a compliment was paid out by the client about the amount of useful data or the method of the presentation I would acknowledge the complement head on by saying “I thank you for that” followed up by the “value added pitch” of I hope they saw the value of the reports as an effective way to manage their business, yet said it (and meant it) with complete sincerity. As I tell my kids as they are growing up, it’s not always what you say, yet more often how you say it.
December 27th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
Thanks for this post.
A few weeks ago, we had a really powerful worship service for which I was a vocalist. Many people came up to me and complimented me on my voice and worship leading. To that I simply said, “Thank you, that’s very nice, it means a lot, thanks for the encouragement, etc.” Other people said, “Thanks for the awesome worship, it was really powerful, I felt the Spirit, etc.” And those comments are what I don’t know how to respond to properly, because I do not want to take credit for something that clearly was not of us but of God’s movement that day.
I do agree with the statement that compliments are a gift and we should accept them just as we’d accept a real gift from someone. I’ve started thinking of them as God’s confirmation that I’m serving Him in the right area (of course, always accepting those times when He humbles me as well).
I used to say “thank you” and then fumble around and say “uhh, well, I messed up, I was nervous, I have a cold, etc.” because I just didn’t know how to accept a compliment and still be humble about it. Now I know just to keep it simple and say “thank you.” Period. It took me a long time to get to this point, though!
December 28th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
The article is yer average humanist self-serving self-image spittle, but does get the topic going…..
As a soloist since the age of 10, I commiserate with the awkwardness of receiving compliments. I now reply depending on what they said; “thank you” to “I enjoyed your song or singing…”, or, can you imagine, with something genuinely considered like “xxx wrote a powerful song” if they complimented the song. I was surprised that a sincere response could be found if I was actually listening to them instead of frantically trying to regurgitate something appropriate (cheesy).
Just as convicting to me than any feigned or appropriate response is the state of my thoughts and whether “all the power, glory and honor” really gets directed to God or I keep a tad for myself. To me, this means quickly mentally directing the praise to God, since upon analysis I am really just a (hopefully) disciplined driver of the Ferarri (or tricked out Impala), not designer or power plant.
Eric Liddel tossed out some pearls during the 1924 Olympics; “God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.”, and “…I run the first 200m as fast as I can. Then, for the second 200m, with God’s help, I run faster..”. I pray to be as free.
December 31st, 2007 at 9:01 am
related, here’s what I say in my Discovering Worship CLASS at our church:
If you really want to give a compliment after a worship service, don’t give it to me or the pastor…give it to God. Let Him know through your words and actions that you gave Him everything in your time of worship that morning so that He would be pleased with you.
Nate
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I tend to say, “Thanks” and if the compliment is particulary meaningful I’ll the let the person know why.
“Thanks, we have been wrestling with that for a long time and finally got it right it means a lot that you noticed.”
January 4th, 2008 at 5:38 am
OK Jordan, where are your disagreements?
January 5th, 2008 at 8:16 am
I always just say “Thanks”. I had a great mentor who told me straight up that I’m just fishing for more compliments when I say stuff like “Really? Because I felt like we didn’t do a great job with _______…” He also gave me the great advice of taking time after each worship session to go before the Lord and give Him “back” every compliment I received in prayer. Good advice…